Secret sticky with a young wife
Mrs Heni past year cranky. This is because her husband married again and these days the husband was always spent at home his young wife. Mrs Heni deliberately not asked for a divorce because she was optimistic that he’ll be able to recover from the clutches of his young wife. Various efforts have been undertaken Mrs Heni to regain the lost pearl. His efforts, among others, by hiring a spy to gather as much information as possible about the life of her husband with his young wife, including confidential information their bed: why the husband till sticky well with a young wife.
Inquired have inquired, the spies managed to obtain very accurate information about why the husband Mrs. Heni so at home in bedroom young wife. Apparently, in a ritual whenever a biological relationship, the young wife always start out with the games they used to call the American Breakfast. Concretely, the young wife innocently provide the body like a piece of bread and on the bedside table is always available various kinds of jam (no butter pineapple, sugar apple butter, strawberry jam) and also messes chocolate. Furthermore, the husband stayed to enjoy the “sandwich” with a choice of a sense of taste on that day.
“Please my hero you want a breakfast of bread with a sense of what, just select it,” she cooed the young wife. If the fit is need taste of pineapple, the husband will be spread over pineapple jam “bread” and ate it all out. On another day, the husband need “bread” with butter sugar apple-studded messes, and so on.
Hearing the spies report earlier, Mrs Heni did not want to lose the set. He realized he was not young anymore, but a sense of optimism to beat awareness of age and body shape. Bought various kinds of jams and messes in the supermarket and prepare neatly in the bedroom. Pas schedule her husband back to the old nest, Mrs Heni was immediately prepared himself. Opened all kinds of garments, and he became a piece of “bread” in bed.
So hot out here
During the month of June and July. Here in the panhandle it got pretty hot in this area. In Fact people were even overworking in the heat. So one day I was working outside in the heat and then i thought i better get inside. My Boss asked me where i was going and i told him i am going inside to cool down. He said that i better get back to work. I said i cant, he said how come.? Because it is so hot out here that i have to go inside to change my mind.
Group of senior citizens were exchanging notes
A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. “My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.”
“Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I cant see to pour the coffee.”
“I cant turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck.”
“My blood pressure pills make my dizzy.” “I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old.”
“Well, its not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive.”
Who likes music?
Who likes music? – asks a commander.
Two soldiers step forward.
All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.
Charged with drunk driving
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true.
“I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed. The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days.”
Appointment with the dentist
“I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist. “I’m sorry sir.” she replied. “Hes out right now, but…”
“Thank you,” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. “When will he be out again?”
A man was walking along a beach
A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!”
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, “Ive always wanted to go to Hawaii but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. “Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?”
The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete! How much steel! You’re going to have to think of another wish.”
The man agreed, and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, “Ive been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside and what they’re thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to figure out why they’re crying, know what they really want when they say nothing, and know how to make them truly happy.” The genie paused for a while and said, “How many lanes do you want on that bridge?”
Catholic Priest VS Rabbi
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion. “What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?” asked the Rabbi. “Well, I’m next in line for the Monsignors job.” replied the Priest.
“Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi. “Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop.” said the Priest. “Yes, and then?” asked the Rabbi.
“If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, its possible for me to become a full Bishop.” said the Priest.”O.K., then what?” asked the Rabbi.The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, “With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal.”
“And then?” asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, “With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I’m in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope.”"Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi.
“Good grief!” shouted the Priest. “What do you expect me to become, GOD?”
“Well,” said the Rabbi, “One of our boys made it!”
