Born on holidays

“What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?”
“They were all born on holidays.”

Are you here as a ghost?

A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet over his head. “Are you here as a ghost?” asked his friends.
“No,” he replied, “I’m an unmade bed.”
Another boy wore a sheet over his head. “Are you an unmade bed?” asked his friends.
“No, I’m an undercover agent,” he replied.

A cat and a mouse died on the same day

A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them How do you like it so far?
The mouse replied Its great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?
God said Sure, and he gave him a pair of roller skates.
The next day God saw the cat and asked him How do you like it up here so far? and the cat replied Great, I didn’t know you had meals on wheels up here!

Cowboy in a barber shop

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barbers chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, “Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room.”
She replied, “I’m married and my husband wouldn’t like that. The cowboy said, “Tell him your working overtime and I’ll pay you the difference.” She said, “You tell him. He is the one shaving you.”

Hunter came across a dinosaur in the middle of the jungle

A big-game hunter came across a dinosaur in the middle of the jungle and stared at it surprise. “You’re extinct,” he said. The dinosaur was hard of hearing. “What was that you said?” The hunter shouted at the top of his voice. “You are extinct.”
The dinosaur looked a little nonplused. “So would you if you’d been dead for six million years.”