Group of senior citizens were exchanging notes

A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. “My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.”
“Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I cant see to pour the coffee.”
“I cant turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck.”
“My blood pressure pills make my dizzy.” “I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old.”
“Well, its not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive.”

I cant do what the big boys do

“Whats wrong, sonny?” asked the old timer sympathetically, coming over to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out.
“I’m crying cause I cant do what the big boys do!”
So the old man sat down and wept too.

Who is the king of the jungle

A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, “Who is the king of the jungle?” And the deer replied, “Oh, you are, Master.”
The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, “Who is the king of the jungle?” and the zebra replied, “Oh, you are, Master.”
The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. “Who is the king of the jungle?” he roared.
With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, “Okay, okay, theres no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer.”

Butler came running into masters office

A butler came running into his important masters office. “Sir, sir, theres a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?” Without looking up from his work the master said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”

Grandma, why don’t you drink tea anymore?

“Grandma, why don’t you drink tea anymore?”
“I don’t like it ever since that tea bag got stuck in my throat.”