An avid line dancing couple go to the doctor

An avid line dancing couple go to the doctor for a check up because they are having trouble remembering anything but, all the latest line dances. The doctor finds them in excellent health (of course), but suggests that writing things down may help their memories off the dance floor.
That night the husband gets up to go the kitchen and the wife asks for a dish of ice cream, suggesting that maybe he write it down. He says “I don’t need to write it down”
She says “Well I want Strawberries on it, so maybe you better write it down”
“I don’t need to write it down” He says and walks off in a huff.
Twenty minutes later he comes back with a plate of bacon and eggs. “I told you to write it down” she says, “You forgot my toast”.

My wife has tried to change me

“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market.”
“Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,” remarked his friend.
“I’m not bitter. Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me.”

Wife of the dentist

“Did you get your money?” ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patients home.
“Not a cent,” growled the dentist, “and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!”

Do you believe in life after death?

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, Sir,” the new employee replied.
“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to see you.”

Die of pneumonia

“Doctor, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.”
“Don’t worry, it wont happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia.”