Household appliance that eats ants

Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows?
It’s the VCRdvard

Ants are always so busy?

How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics ?

A man wanted a new aardvark

A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered. “How much are your aardvarks?” he asked.
“They’re L6 each,” came the reply.
“Did you raise them yourself?” inquired the man.
“Oh yes,” she said, “Yesterday they were only L5 each.”

Northern California’s apple country

A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California’s apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, “How much are yer apples?”
“All you can pick for one dollar,” said the rancher. “Okay,” said the Pennsylvanian. “Ill take two dollars worth.”

Listen very carefully

Can you repeat the part after “Listen very carefully”?

The auditors have just left

“The auditors have just left, sir.”
“Did they check the books?”
“Very thoroughly.”
“What did they say?”
“They want 15% to keep quiet.”