Born on holidays
June 30, 2008
“What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?”
“They were all born on holidays.”
Watch the solar eclipse
June 30, 2008
“Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?” asked Rupert.
“Okay,” replied his father, “but don’t stand too close.”
Glad to meet snake
June 30, 2008
“So glad to meet you” said the Hindu politely
“Charmed I’m sure “, replied the snake!
Raining cats and dogs
June 30, 2008
“Gosh, its raining cats and dogs,” said Fred looking out of the kitchen window.
“I know,” said his mother.”Ive just stepped in a poodle!”
Pillows have their own website
June 25, 2008
Did you know pillows have their own website?
Really? Well you could knock me down with a feather!
Obama-Clinton Showdown
June 15, 2008
“Things aren’t looking good for Hillary. Like a lot of women in Washington, I think she’s just starting to realize she may have slept with Bill Clinton for nothing.”
“Hillary Clinton says she isn’t dropping out because there are still six states that haven’t had their Democratic primary. That’s right. Barack Obama’s favored in the states of Oregon, Montana and South Dakota, and Hillary is favored in the state of denial.”
“In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. Or, as Democrats call it, Barack Obama.”
“According to a new poll, Barack Obama has a 24-point lead over Hillary Clinton in North Carolina. Obama is doing particularly well with one important demographic: voters.”
I forgot my teeth
June 13, 2008
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth.”
The man said, “No problem.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said. The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said.
The man then said, “I have another pair - try these.” The speaker tried them and responded, “Too tight.” The man was not taken back at all.
He then said, “I have one more pair. Try them.” The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.”With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. Read more
I’m a snowman
June 13, 2008
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a snowman.
Doctor: Keep cool !
How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?
June 13, 2008
How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?- Two. One to launch it, one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.
Are you here as a ghost?
June 13, 2008
A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet over his head. “Are you here as a ghost?” asked his friends.
“No,” he replied, “I’m an unmade bed.”
Another boy wore a sheet over his head. “Are you an unmade bed?” asked his friends.
“No, I’m an undercover agent,” he replied.
