Comedy Jokes at Court Street

So hot out here

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:09:46 +0000

During the month of June and July. Here in the panhandle it got pretty hot in this area. In Fact people were even overworking in the heat. So one day I was working outside in the heat and then i thought i better get inside. My Boss asked me where i was going and i told him i am going inside to cool down. He said that i better get back to work. I said i cant, he said how come.? Because it is so hot out here that i have to go inside to change my mind.

Group of senior citizens were exchanging notes

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:08:16 +0000

A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. “My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.”
“Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I cant see to pour the coffee.”
“I cant turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck.”
“My blood pressure pills make my dizzy.” “I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old.”
“Well, its not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive.”

Who likes music?

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:06:35 +0000

Who likes music? - asks a commander. Two soldiers step forward. All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor. Related posts:An avid line dancing couple go to the doctorUnlucky man who bought some bananasAm I pure polar bear? Related posts:

Charged with drunk driving

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:05:29 +0000

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true. “I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed. The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days.” Related posts:Violin lessons last winterA [...] Related posts:

Appointment with the dentist

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:04:13 +0000

“I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist. “I’m sorry sir.” she replied. “Hes out right now, but…” “Thank you,” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. “When will he be out again?” Related posts:Wife of the dentistI forgot my teethI can’t stop acting like a cat Related posts:

A man was walking along a beach

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:03:11 +0000

A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!”
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, “Ive always wanted to go to Hawaii but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. “Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?”
The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete! How much steel! You’re going to have to think of another wish.”
The man agreed, and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, “Ive been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside and what they’re thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to figure out why they’re crying, know what they really want when they say nothing, and know how to make them truly happy.” The genie paused for a while and said, “How many lanes do you want on that bridge?”

Catholic Priest VS Rabbi

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:01:14 +0000

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion. “What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?” asked the Rabbi. “Well, I’m next in line for the Monsignors job.” replied the Priest.
“Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi. “Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop.” said the Priest. “Yes, and then?” asked the Rabbi.
“If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, its possible for me to become a full Bishop.” said the Priest.”O.K., then what?” asked the Rabbi.The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, “With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal.”
“And then?” asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, “With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I’m in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope.”"Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi.
“Good grief!” shouted the Priest. “What do you expect me to become, GOD?”
“Well,” said the Rabbi, “One of our boys made it!”

If Elected I promise…

Comedian — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 05:58:54 +0000

A little girl asked her father, “Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?” And he replied, “No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with If Elected I promise…” Related posts:Watch the solar eclipseCatholic Priest VS RabbiI gotta A in spelling Related posts:

New mountain website

Comedian — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 09:35:58 +0000

Have you heard that there’s a new mountain website? Really? I must take a peak at it! Related posts:Pillows have their own websiteA lawyer passed on and found himself in HeavenTickets for Your Favorite Shows Related posts:

Wife Wanted!

Comedian — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 09:33:53 +0000

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading “Wife Wanted!” The next day he received a hundred letters saying “You can have mine.” Related posts:A man wanted a new aardvarkHows your wife?Wife of the dentist Related posts: